How to Win Friends and Influence People. Part 02- Six ways to make people like you

Summary from How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Part 01 can be found here.

Principle 01- Become genuinely interested in people

You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves – morning, noon and after dinner. It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for others and things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.

Principle 02 – Smile

A man without a smiling face must not open a shop. A smile costs nothing but creates much. It enriches those who receive it, without impoverishing those who give it. It happens in a flash, and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give.

Principle 03 – Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

Most people don’t remember names for this simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. Remember that a person’s name sets that individual apart and makes him or her unique among all others.

Principle 04 – Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

If you want people to shun you and laugh behind your back and even despise you here is a recipe: Never listen to anyone for long. Talk incessantly about yourself. If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don’t wait for him or her to finish: bust right in and interrupt in the middle of the sentence.

“People who talk only of themselves, think only of themselves”

To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions the other person will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Always remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.

Principle 05 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interest

Talking in terms of the other person’s interest pays off for both parties. The reward is that we get an enlargement of their lives each time we allow ourselves to speak from the other person’s interest.

Principle 06 – Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely

If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return – if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with failure. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. ‘Talk to people about themselves,’ said Disraeli. ‘Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.’

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